Hope for the Hopeless: Vanessa Hudgens Engagement Sparks a Wholesome Reddit Discussion About Moving On from Long-Term Relationships

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Noga Jacobi
Feb 10, 2023 6:00 PM EST

Many people believe that waiting for your long-term partner to propose is a waste of time, and if you're waiting for a proposal that may never come, you're missing out on the opportunity to build a life with someone who may be wonderful for you.

But it can be devastating to suddenly find yourself single after investing years of your life into a relationship. Some might even say that not getting a ring is a stupid and shallow reason to break up with someone you're otherwise compatible with.

Most of all, though, it's the dreaded prospect of being alone when all you really want is a long-term, stable partnership. And when you finally take the plunge, you may feel lost, alone, and hopeless.

But there is hope!

Yesterday, in a joint Instagram post, Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker announced their engagement after two years of dating. The actress met the major league baseball player during a meditation Zoom in 2021, and immediately knew she wanted to get to know him. Less than a year before meeting Tucker, Hudgens had broken off an eight-year relationship with fellow actor Austin Butler. Many speculated it was because she was fed up on waiting for him to propose.

This wonderful news sparked a fascinating discussion on Reddit subthread r/Waiting_To_Wed. The bottom line is that if you feel your relationship isn't going anywhere and that you and your long-term partner aren't on the same page, moving on doesn't mean giving up. It means you may very well find someone better aligned with your life goals and desires.

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  • 01

    So cute together!

    Smile
    via vanessahudgens and cotuck
  • 02

    This actually seems rather on topic for the subreddit

    Mammal - r/Waiting_To_Wed Posted by u/verysocialflutist 9 hours ago 3 Vanessa Hudgens is engaged after 2 years with fiancé, after leaving a decade long relationship Off Topic
    via verysocialflutist
  • 03

    Proposed in Paris, which we love.

    Mammal - Congratulations to the 2 of them, I saw that they've been together for a little over 2 years and he proposed recently! Before dating him, she had been with Austin Butler for about a decade with no proposal.
    via verysocialflutist
  • 04

    She does seem so happy!

    Human body - I think it's awesome to see that there was someone out there for her who wanted to propose after 2 years instead of making her wait over a decade. I don't know what the situation was before, but she seems happy to be engaged now.
    via verysocialflutist
  • 05

    Love the wholesome positivity in this paragraph!

    Smile - This isn't to throw shade at any happy couples that would like to wait longer before getting engaged or are currently waiting for a longer period of time. It's just some evidence that if anyone on the fence about leaving and scared to make that step because they think they won't find someone better, then it is definitely possible to find better for them!
    via verysocialflutist
  • 06

    There's a comment section below, so don't be shy and share your thoughts!

    Font - What are your thoughts?
    via verysocialflutist
  • 07

    Hmmm... interesting boomer theory going on here.

    Human body - themetahumancrusader 4 hr. ago My dad has a theory that most relationships that go on too long without an engagement will either never result in marriage, or if they do the marriage won't last long
    via themetahumancrusader
  • 08

    I bet somewhere out there is a man blaming this on women having basic rights

    Font - valiantdistraction - 1 hr. ago There's research to back this up - prior to about 20 years ago, longer time together pre- marriage resulted in more reliable marriages, but then something changed, and since then, those who wait 4 years or more before getting engaged/married have the second- highest divorce rates, after those who waited less than six months. The theory is that they held back so long because there were unsolved problems, and just kind of defaulted into getting married, and th
    via valiantdistraction
  • 09

    Yes, the "don't know" after two years for mature adults is a bit of a red flag

    Font - abitofsunshine 4 hr. ago 2-2.5 years seems to be the sweet spot for mature couples (not high school or college couples). It's the timeframe we both agreed on in my relationship. But he has known since about a year in to the relationship he wants to marry me. I am skeptical of the men who "don't know" after a decent amount of time. I agree that there's always going to be men ready to be married and want that with you. No need sticking around with those that don't / can't / won't.
    via abitofsunshine_
  • 10

    Of course there's always life to consider, but that's not the same as "not sure"

    Font - imaginarymelody. 6 hr. ago my dad I think it really depends if they're some actual reasoning to not getting married and his wife didn't want to merge houses while they had either set of kids living with them, so they dated for 10 years and now have been married for 12. My friend and her now-husband very young and were long distance for 7 years before getting married and have now been married for 11 years. I think the key to success in both of those situations was that as soon as the obsta
    via imaginarymelody
  • 11

    In the end, it's the intentions that count

    Font - Dependent-Guava-4334. just now Good for them! I do think it's more than getting married, though. Like, getting a ring and a signed paper is nice, but in the end, it's the willingness to build a life together beyond the coupleship. I think that's what bothers a lot of us with long-term mature relationships that don't move forward into marriage or extremely long engagements - the sense of being stuck in one place. If you move in together, build a household, have children, and truly build a
    via verysocialflutist

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